Walking Wounded

HERE

I haven’t read them all but my favorites from the first 100 or so

4. Name your dog “Dog.”

6. Reply to everything someone says with “that’s what you think.”

30. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

31. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. (JOHNNY! though i do that too)

66. Tell people their accent isn’t fooling anyone.

93. “Forget” the punch line to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a “real hoot.”

98. Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as “sticky wicket isn’t cricket.”

106. Say “okay, you’re gay” to anything someone says.

Reply with your favorites if you like. Or even better tell of story of someone you know. Like when our greet question at church was how low do you think gas prices would go, Johnny would tell be people $2.68 (or something like that). This is when gas was already $2.05. When they would tell Johnny that it was already down to $2.05 he’d simply reply with “Oh, I doubt it!” Johnny, number 31 is officially yours.   106 goes to my old roommate.  ugh, the memories.

So, yesterday had its moment of fun.  On my way to lunch yesterday I look down to find a decent size hole in my pants right at the crotch.  I ask myself “How did I miss this?”  I ask the guys in the car if anyone else had noticed.  One had noticed (but didn’t tell me).  Anyway, this is one of those holes that opens and closes while you are walking.
I go into Quiznos to get my lunch and quickly walk to the counter.  I’m quite uncomfortable to say the least.  I was glad to get my sub.  It was now used as cover.

Skipping ahead, we get back to work and I say “See this isn’t a problem I can just cover the hole with my sub like this.”  Well in that process I dropped my sub.  I went down to pick it up and you can guess what happened.  Yep, it rips almost halfway down my leg.  Oh my!

I dropped my napkins too but didn’t bother to pick them up due to my revealing status.  But, fortunately (feel the sarcasm) there was a 60 year old lady who just walked out of the building and picked them up for me.  That made me felt good.  I just made an old lady pick up something I dropped.  I was to preoccupied keeping myself covered with my sub though.

I go to my desk.  I (very carefully!) try to staple this hole together.  It is to little avail.  Gradually the staples came out and now not only do I have this big hole in my pants but lots of tangled loose staples in areas I don’t really want them.

Needless to say, that was that and I went home early.

I haven’t experienced anything like that since I was 12 and jumped out a tree only to have a branch keep my shorts while I make it to the ground.  In which I rode home on my bike in my underwear trying to use my torn in half shorts as a towel.

Yeah, the one when I was 12 was much worse.  Anyway, there are some fun stories for you from my life.

Constance (my girlfriend) is not a fan of pet names. No, not what you name your pet. I’m talking about the special names you have for that special someone. Your sweetie, sugar, honey or (Constance’s least favorite) baby. There are the variations like sweet-ums, sugar-lips, sweet-cakes, baby-doll and it goes downhill from there. Well, what does a good boyfriend do in this situation? Well, I chose to sing her the Cuppycake Gumdrops song. Sweetie doesn’t sound quite so bad anymore now does it?

Look forward to my bathroom remodelling blogs. I will be doing a series with I don’t know how many parts with the process of my remodelling of my bathroom. Part 1 is just waiting on me to take some pictures.

funny – zidane takes on a deathstar

I have a really good story I wrote that I’m still refining that I think people will enjoy. I may make it passworded because it’s kind of private but I’ll give the password to you regulars.

funny – materazzi, watch out for that pole

I still need to take pictures of my hamster and put them up.

Sunday Bloody Sunday by George W.

I have a new blog title and subtitle but want to redesign a little before releasing them.